All That I Have Written Is Straw. . .

Meanderings of a Catholic Devout

Posts Tagged ‘God

Waking up thankful.

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Sometimes, I would swear that I dream of God and I wake up so grateful and happy. e.e. cummings’ poetry sums up my emotion best:

i thank You God for most this amazing day.

i thank You God for most this amazing day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything which is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today, and this is the sun’s birthday; this is the birth day of life and of love and wings: and of the gay great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing breathing any–lifted from the no of all nothing–human merely being doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and now the eyes of my eyes are opened)

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Written by Written Straw

June 25, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Posted in Faith, Life

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Second Semester Learnings

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By Tuesday evening of next week, I will have finished my second semester of graduate school in Theological Studies. I get a quick-but-needed month and a half break before I take a summer course on Faith and Revelation. A summation of my humble learnings is now in order.

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Written by Written Straw

May 4, 2012 at 8:24 am

If you don’t doubt, you won’t grow

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Written by Written Straw

August 9, 2011 at 8:59 am

Feeling real

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This is the last weekend I’m spending alone in my current city. My ex-husband had asked me if we could meet one last time so that he might say goodbye to the dog.

I would elaborate more about the petty details, but I came away from the awkward meeting feeling both happy and sad. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by Written Straw

March 26, 2011 at 8:53 pm

Posted in Faith, Life

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Now is the ashen day

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Written by Written Straw

March 9, 2011 at 12:58 pm

Posted in Catholic, Faith

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What’s Best for Me

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I am in such a state of uncertainty lately. I am tempted to make haste decisions and I am struggling so hard to avoid that. I keep praying for God to illuminate the narrow path a little more brightly, so that I may watch my steps carefully.

In the meantime, I’ve taken up a new mission in my life: to be more spontaneous. I just spent a couple of days this past week with my brother and his family and being spontaneous. I’ve been very open-minded about how I spend my time. I had blogged several weeks ago that I have been finding myself pleasantly surprised by the opportunities that have presented themselves by my just being there.

But being spontaneous, for me, also means watching the wake of destruction I can leave. I don’t intend to hurt anyone, but I am also keenly aware of that I can be focused on a single goal and I may fail to see the bigger picture. I have to put my trust in God and in my friends to keep me mindful of what is best for me.

Written by Written Straw

July 17, 2010 at 3:57 pm

Posted in Life

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Cutting Strings

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Ever get those days when you’re just fed up?  I’m annoyed at something in my life and I’m not sure what it is.  I’m too old to beat around the bush and I’m too young to feel old.  My patience is wearing down with people who can’t make firm decisions, even small ones.  But maybe it’s time for some self-reflection.  If indecisiveness is what is annoying me about other people, then perhaps I am being indecisive about something.  What is it, exactly?  Here’s my theory:

I am coming to a point of self-realization.  I know what I want, but I can’t quite get there on my own.  I feel like I make a firm decision to go in one direction, but God seems to have a different path planned for me.  So I pray, not my will, but Thy will. . . and I try to follow that path, only to come to a chasm of doubt in my heart.  “Faith is taking the first step, even when you can’t see the entire staircase.” (MLK, Jr.). 

I know this is about trust, but I have these marionette strings tied to my soul from the flesh.  I am not letting my Maker turn me into a girl, because I choose to lie to myself.  I feel like lying to myself will somehow fill that chasm in my heart, only because a lie temporarily numbs the sore edges.  Trusting in God is like pouring alcohol on the wound.  The burn is painful, quick even, but for my own good.  In fact, if the wound isn’t sanitized, a grave scar, or something worse, remains.

Written by Written Straw

May 25, 2010 at 7:32 pm

Posted in Faith, Life

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