All That I Have Written Is Straw. . .

Meanderings of a Catholic Devout

What it feels like when prayers are answered.

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I’ve always made mention of the general rule that God always answers prayers. Sometimes the answer is just “no.” But yesterday, I had a prayer answered. . .one that I prayed for diligently for a long while. And I feel rather nonchalant about it.

My prayer was that my ex-husband would find happiness. Earlier this year, I learned he and his girlfriend had a healthy little girl. I was happy for him but sad due to my own childlessness. Yesterday, I learned he married his girlfriend. Rather than feeling sad (not sure why I would), I quickly lowered my head when I read the news and prayed for God’s blessing for him and his family. And then I didn’t really think or feel anything at all about it.

I’m a little more shocked about my nonchalance than anything. It’s why I decided to blog about it. I think God once again makes good on all promises. When I was divorcing, I genuinely prayed for my ex to find the happiness that he deserved. Whether he believes in God or not made him no less deserving. I am, rather, more in awe at God’s greatness. If he could answer that prayer, how much more would he answer for my own needs? Perhaps my feelings of indifference in the matter are the blessing that God has granted me.

This week, though, I am saddened for other reasons. I am praying for those who have a prejudice against Christianity and for those “Christians” who have scandalously spurned the weak and impressionable by their own immoral or un-Christlike ways. Now the aftermath of a few bad apples have directly affected my own heart. . . and I feel helpless at repairing the damage they inflicted.

It seems that they dim the light of hope in my life. And, unknowingly, dimmed the light of hope in others’ lives, too.

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Written by Written Straw

June 22, 2012 at 9:08 pm

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