All That I Have Written Is Straw. . .

Meanderings of a Catholic Devout

Nothing good in goodbye

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Yesterday, I formally left my employer. I had worked there for nine years.  I knew people would be sad that I was leaving, but I didn’t feel too emotional about leaving. At least not until my friend began to cry.

I had managed to stay strong up until R— hugged me. She wouldn’t look me in the eye and I could tell she was crying. Because R— is like a mother to me, this caused me to start to cry rather uncontrollably. And that made my boss cry. It was one big weep fest for a few minutes, it seemed.

My former boss made the remark as she was walking me down for an exit interview in the HR department that she couldn’t really remember a time when everyone was so sad about someone leaving. This touched my heart. I am so humbled by the thought that people are sad about my departure. And I know I have their blessing for where my life is heading.

I know I will keep in touch with them. I know it’s always easier to promise that than it is to keep that promise. But in the day and age of social networking and that 90% of them are on Facebook or Twitter or some TwitYouFace hybrid, it really won’t be that difficult.

I realized many of them hadn’t been my friends hitherto on Facebook until I was leaving. I sort of did that intentionally. I never am sure of how whether it is professional or not to be friends with coworkers on Facebook. I prefer to err on the side of caution. I am not a griper on Facebook (unless it’s humorous), but I respect that fact that some people like to do that and I didn’t really want to know if I was the cause of their gripes. Yesterday, I added a new slate of friends.

I went to hug a coworker, K—, who I never felt particularly close to. By the time I said goodbye, the waterworks were already streaming. But I remember her graciously saying, “it’s hard, isn’t it?” She wasn’t mocking me. She said it in such a loving way.

So why was I crying? These people had been part of my life for almost nine years of my life. I began working there when I was 24 years old.  They watched me grow up. They helped me develop professionally. Here’s a few things they witnessed in my life during this time:

  • The death of my father
  • Executing my father’s will and selling his estate
  • Death of two grandparents
  • The death of two of my pet cats
  • Buying a house
  • Marriage
  • An IRS audit
  • Selling a house
  • Divorce/Annulment
  • Marriage of my sister
  • Family reunions
  • Birth of my beloved niece
  • Reconnection to my faith
  • Volunteerism (in so many ways)
  • Losing 60 pounds (though I’ve gained about 15 back)
  • Cheering on my favorite football team
  • Meeting my current boyfriend
  • Starting a professional blog
  • Moving back to Houston

I’m sure there are tons of things I am leaving out, but these are major life events that not even most of my immediate family can say they were there for.

So yes, there was nothing good in goodbye yesterday. There’s a huge hole in my heart now for the 25 or so people who I’ve left behind for now.

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Written by Written Straw

April 1, 2011 at 8:56 pm

Posted in Life

Tagged with , , , ,

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