All That I Have Written Is Straw. . .

Meanderings of a Catholic Devout

Keeping on

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I haven’t posted in a bit about anything terribly personal, but I assure you, things are going on.

My friend, J—, is better but she isn’t recovering very well.  Her husband is asking me questions about funerals and death. I think he is thinking of euthanasia if things go south or if there is no improvement over the next few months.  At first, I was very willing to offer him advice on my experience with death, but when I think more deeply about his intentions and what they may be, I become very heavy-hearted. I hope that he does nothing of the sort!

I am planning to move back to my home town next year if things work out. Those who know me understand how bittersweet this decision is, because I love my current job. At the same time, I miss my home. I understand that I must do what is in my best interest, though, and moving back is apparently better for me in the long-term.

In order to move back, I have to tie up a lot of loose ends and that’s the harder part because of my emotional ties. As this year nears its end, I am reminded of the timing of this mission. I’m still trying to gather my emotions about all of it.

Finally, an acquaintance of mine posted a lot of old pictures of my ex and I on his Facebook page this weekend, bringing about some unwanted memories. There were pictures of him and the girlfriend he had before he met me. Though I felt nothing much as I looked at him kissing her (even when I realized he never kissed me like that), it made me appreciate all that I have right now.

It made me appreciate that someone tells me I’m beautiful and amazing every day and seems genuinely excited to be with me and to kiss me. And appreciate that he holds my hand every chance he gets. This is what keeps me concentrated on moving on.

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Written by Written Straw

November 7, 2010 at 9:14 pm

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