All That I Have Written Is Straw. . .

Meanderings of a Catholic Devout

My Papa Didn’t Raise No Fool

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I was reading another blogger’s post this week (Come & See) and she brought to light John 14:1 (“Do not let your hearts be troubled.  Trust in God and trust also in Me.”), which was also in the Sunday Gospel reading.  She was reflected deeply on this verse and it was a little contagious because all week I’ve been trying to take her approach about it.  And it’s already produced some pretty amazing results.

I have been stressed over numerous, trivial things in my life lately.  It’s taking a physical toll on me.  One of these things has to do with unfinished business I have regarding the burying of my father’s ashes.  Since my dad died penniless (posted on my other blog under “The Ultimate Failure of Society“), he had no life insurance and I had to do some makeshift memorial.  His wish was to be cremated and his last command to me was to take as much time as I needed to bury his ashes because he had previously purchased a plot and it would be good and ready when I was ready.  Shortly after he died, I contacted the cemetery to inquire about what needed to happen to bury his ashes.  As if the memorial, funeral home, and cremation expenses weren’t already so much, I was told it would be yet another $3,000 or so to bury the ashes.  So I sobbed and waited. 

After I sold his house to recoup expenses spent on the funeral and to pay his bills, I had nothing left.  I had to sell his house for a loss because I couldn’t afford to make payments on it.  So his ashes waited.  I had all sorts of intentions to save money, but it seemed like every time I came into a sum of cash, there was always a critical need for it elsewhere (like getting my brakes replaced or a hefty tax bill).  Then, before I knew it, five years had gone by. . . then six, now it will have been seven.  I feel like such a bad daughter for not having taken care of this.  For the first few years, it was more than about money–I wasn’t ready to let him go.  But then I was ready except I didn’t have the money.

But since the decision to divorce forced me to sell the house, I recovered my nest egg.  My first thought:  bury the ashes.  If anything good will come of this, this will happen.  Today, I made the call to the cemetery with all humility, ready to work out the logistics and get the bottom line.  But when the lady at the cemetery called me back, she informed me that not only was the plot paid for, but he had actually paid for the opening and closing (i.e., the labor) for the burial.  This alone removes $1,000 from the estimated bill.  The bill will be so much less than I was expecting.  At first I was excited about the savings, but then I just felt stupid for not checking into this earlier.   I could have financed that amount years ago!  But now, I’m in a financial position to just pay it outright and be done with it.   So my final emotional thought:  do not let my heart be troubled. Trust in God and trust in Christ.

Things happen for a reason.  Now, I am going to keep repeating this verse to myself, to try to instill it into my brain and more importantly, into my heart.

Written by Written Straw

May 11, 2010 at 10:25 pm

Posted in Faith, Life

Tagged with , , , , ,

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