All That I Have Written Is Straw. . .

Meanderings of a Catholic Devout

What Homer Said to Marge

with 2 comments

I was quietly contemplating some very heavy thoughts while I was getting ready for bed this evening and halfway listening to an old episode of The Simpsons.  It was an episode where Marge decides to tell the truth in court, thereby causing Homer to lose a million dollar lawsuit against Mr. Burns.  He’s angry at her and is thinking about leaving her.  He tells her, “I just don’t know if I love you anymore.”  And Marge gasps and insists that he look her in the eyes and decide if he does or doesn’t.  And that made me a little teary-eyed, because that’s basically how my marriage ended.  Even Matt Koenig could incorporate this real-life scenario into his 30-minute parody. 

I have been debating with an agnostic friend lately, over the course of a month or so, about the existence of God.   He is very stubborn in changing his mind, but he’s open-minded enough to hear the arguments, for now.   I used to have such ire behind my motives when I was atheist and had a great counter-argument for every premise posited.   But the strength to prove God’s existence has been so lost when I became Christian.  I suppose  it’s because my conversion was so deeply personal, something so uniquely individual and God’s “appearance” in my life was so subtle to everyone else but so clear to me that it happened in only a way that I would understand it.   

When Saul of Tarsus was on his way to Damascus and was blinded by a light, do you suppose the ass he was riding on saw the same light?   Why didn’t it run away? When Joseph was thinking of quietly running away in the night and leaving Mary, an angel appeared to him (assumed to be in his dreams, I believe).  No witnesses, but the entirety of our faith is based on accounts of God’s messengers (if not Himself) appearing to people in a way that only they would understand it.  And the Holy Spirit would guide them. How do you argue for that?  How do you begin to articulate that? 

I can come up with hundreds of logical premises for the existence of God, but as Aquinas ultimately puts it, it all comes down to an article of faith.  We don’t even buy into logic without some measure of faith.

Still, I find myself challenged for this dear old friend.  He’s a beautiful soul, but his lack of faith is the most unattractive stain.  And I pray, because I’m not strong enough to influence it (or do I want to?).  It’s probably not my role in his life anyway, since he’s very defensive about something I have yet to understand.

I keep praying and praying, “Thy Will be done.  Please let me be able to recognize Your will.”  I feel my heart is open and I can already feel the harsh handling of life inside of it.  I pray to keep an open heart, to keep my integrity.  I love being in love, being carefree.  I don’t wish to be closed or cautious or stubborn or argumentative.  I don’t have time in my life to waste on cautiousness.  I only have the time I am allotted, to love with all of my heart every moment of every day those who I know and the causes that I know.  If I’m going to fight, I’ll try to fight the good fight.


Written by Written Straw

March 23, 2010 at 10:48 pm

2 Responses

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  1. Your thoughts here are beautifully expressed.
    I know it may sound childlike but “let your Light shine” can be the most powerful arguement to those whose hearts seem firmly (and sometimes violently) closed.Jesus has already begun an amazing good work in you and the Light of Christ that comes from our changing spills over to those around us. Many times without any words being spoken.

    Drawing close to Him brings us into His presence where there is fullness of joy. And as we draw close the strength needed to follow His leading pours in.

    blessings, Beth


    March 24, 2010 at 4:44 am

  2. I’m with you my friend. I get a lot of comfort from the fact that I can’t “save” anyone. Love first, and let God do the rest. We may never see how He does it, but surely He will bring your dear friend to Him sooner or later. If you trust that, you can love him without any agenda.

    Jill Rutherford

    March 24, 2010 at 5:45 am

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