All That I Have Written Is Straw. . .

Meanderings of a Catholic Devout

Blame

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I have two more sections to go on this annulment application.  I know the purpose of the application, seeking to find fault, but it seems a little repulsive to me that I am laying blame to things and events in my life.  I don’t like to lay blame in this matter.  Call it my independent spirit, but I feel like I should be accountable for the decisions I’ve made in my life and this petition is taking that spirit away.  In reality, it’s not.  I just find myself more defensive about it asking questions regarding my family, my past.  I have to get over it.  I know it’s necessary but it’s not easy.  It’s not just about what my marriage was, it is about who I am and how I came to be the way I am and that is what affected my marriage.

As for life, it goes on.  I have found some new events occurring in my life that are keeping me joyfully preoccupied.  I feel horrible for trying to move on and simultaneously, I feel very ready to let it be.  There are just two legal obligations that my ex and I have to each other and one of them will soon be over come April 15.  The other is taking much longer than anticipated and it’s becoming increasingly more frustrating, since we both just want to get on with our lives.  So, yes, these latest preoccupations are very much welcomed.  And, according to my family and friends, much deserved.

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Written by Written Straw

March 12, 2010 at 6:17 pm

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