All That I Have Written Is Straw. . .

Meanderings of a Catholic Devout

Conquering Valentine’s Day

with one comment

I guess everyone expects that Valentine’s Day is hard on the newly single.  I actually haven’t fretted about it once.  There was a quick thought in the back of my mind that I didn’t really want to be alone, but I got lucky this year since Valentine’s Day is on a Sunday.   I have church on Sunday–a very appropriate way to start the day.  But aside from that, I won’t really have an opportunity to see anyone if I don’t want.  I don’t shop on Sundays.

My sister sent me roses at work on Friday.  As I said, I haven’t really thought about the impact of this holiday on my livelihood until I received them.  I know her intention was to make me not feel like I wasn’t missing out.  And she achieved that.  I felt really loved so I think that’s why this holiday is so much easier.

Come to think about it, this will probably be the happiest Valentine’s Day I’ve had in a long time.  When I was married, there was a lot of anticipation for Valentine’s Day.  Romantic isn’t a word that one uses to describe my ex-husband.  I guess I put a lot into hoping he would be romantic even if for one day.  Sometimes he attempted to be so, but mostly, it was disappointment.  I don’t blame him.  It’s much like expecting water to flow from a rock.  Unless God is present, it just doesn’t happen.  (Allusion: Our Lady of Lourdes).

But I realize that I can’t stay in on Valentine’s Day.  I can’t hide.  So I made a dinner date with a girlfriend to grab some Tex-Mex.  I want to be out and about.  And I can’t imagine who better to spend the day with.

Written by Written Straw

February 13, 2010 at 9:12 pm

One Response

Subscribe to comments with RSS.

  1. I have an incarcerated friend–a dear friend–to whom I send copies of this blog, among other things, every couple of weeks. He is not Christian, a topic about which we have debated for years, but he nevertheless respects my beliefs. He just can’t get over the ontological proof for the existence of God part. Here is his comment on my posts so far:

    “Well. . . on to the meat of the letter. Previously, I had looked at your divorce and the issues surrounding it (religion, etc.), in a rather abstract manner and approached it academically. Maybe defensively a bit, since there is still (and likely ever will be) some unresolved feeling about you. But your blog entries illumnated the situation from your point-of-view rather well. And maybe that is even too “dry” a way to explain what I mean. And I’m not sure I can . . . I can’t even, in reading and re-reading your posts, what it is that so touched me. Well. . .maybe “touched” isn’t the proper word, either. It seems a bit too specific for this. Maybe the best is “disturbed” or “unsettled”. Perhaps it is that, before, I looked at it, how did you say it?. . .”cold and secular”, in a “bureaucratic” manner. As though, all the messy emotional stuff aside, it was just a matter of filling out the endless paperwork all great institutions exist on. But it’s not like that at all, is it? As verbose as I may tend to get, I find myself at a loss for words for how to express what I mean. And that disturbs me even more (not “more” than the blogs–just “more” as “in addition to”). I mean, to be honest, you hadn’t said anything I’d not heard or read before. Nothing you hadn’t, in one way or another, expressed to me in letters. What is it?!

    And, as irrational as it may be, I find myself unhappy with —-. It isn’t that you have somehow portrayed him in a bad light (at least not overtly or intentionally), but the whole thing comes down to his “leaping before looking”–since he wasn’t really ready for the committment marriage entails. At least not emotionally. And (irrationally) since he is the seat of what made you unhappy and hurt (even if you haven’t “laid blame”). I find myself disliking him though I only know him through your letters. And, here’s the rub–every woman deserves to be be loved unconditionally and exclusively. So there’s that.

    Maybe part of my being unsettled is that, well, I don’t really understand how you (or, really, anyone) can so deeply be Christian. Not from an emotional point-of-view, but an intellectual one. And don’t, please, think I am mocking of your belief. But your posts brought to one how wide-reaching your beliefs are. I mean, of course, I know that sex is adultery outside of marriage. And that you have to get the annulment. And I know that you aren’t suppose to accept the Eucharist unless sincerely confessed and shriven of sin. But I guess I had approached each as a unit, when, in fact, they are indivisible. It is odd. So much of my study has been–and is–to understand. But a simple turn of phrase in couple pages of your posts does more than many of the books I’ve read to break open and expose the seed of it–which is emotion. Have I been on a track destined to fail by trying to understand things intellectually? Can I even describe or comprehend emotion using intellect and reason. It goes back to my feelings about —–, irrational. I reason through it again and again, and look at that, I have 2 + 2. Yet I hold 5 in my hand.”

    Written Straw

    February 22, 2010 at 6:47 pm

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: