“Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father’s house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you. If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also.” Jn. 14:1-3
I keep repeating this constantly in my head these days because my faith is being tested tremendously at the moment as one center of my universe is being “replaced” by another. I try several times a day to lay my sadness, anger, and anxiety at the foot of the cross. But I can’t help being a bit bitter when I ask of God, “How many times in my life must I lose everyone and everything?” Mother Mary, pray for me, because I know you can relate.
Why do we suffer? So that we can better appreciate mercy. So that change may come about…
Prayers sorely needed. Because I can’t find hope in places I’d expect to find it. There’s a fault line in the center of my heart.
Tonight I was dropping my husband off for a “guy’s night.” It’s always a really anxious thing for me and it drives my husband nuts that it has to be that way—sometimes to the point of real anger with me about it. He thinks, I believe, that I’m projecting some blame on him for how my ex-husband abused my anxiety with his drinking habits. It’s a recurring wound between my husband and I. But it’s really about anxiety. I’m getting better about it, slowly and with lots of prayer, but it will always (always) be there. How I handle it is the key component. Read the rest of this entry »
Just a brief update, as I logged on and realized it had suddenly been five months since I provided any sign of life. And if you keep track of substance, probably closer to a year. I have lots of meanderings to share, but limited in time. Work and academia take my attention from the love I have to writing, momentarily, in addition to the joys of marriage and the upcoming joys of motherhood (more on that in 2014). Much to comment on socially: legal rulings, Pope Francis, amazing conversions, etc. All in due time, I suppose.
I also realized that I hadn’t provided a semester recap in the Spring 2013 and as I’m on the eve of Read the rest of this entry »
To my love, I—:
Before I met you, I would frequent an adoration chapel and pray (sometimes, er…often, cry) before the Eucharist. The Christ and I would have a conversation. I’d do the talking, he did the listening. And occasionally I might shut up enough to actually discern what He had to say. Read the rest of this entry »
Today, Pope Benedict XVI announced his resignation from official duties effective Feb. 28. I am both saddened and somehow profoundly proud of this pope for doing so.
The pope will be 86 years old this year (b. 1927). To recognize and publicly acknowledge the limitations of old age is admirable. In comparison, it was heart-wrenching to watch John Paul II deteriorate before the public eye. But for someone who is charge of making such impactful and long-lasting decisions on the future of the Roman Church, it seems better, in my opinion, to gracefully admit that the Church needs the strength of someone who can make the decisions that will impact over a billion people for many years, even centuries, to come.
Benedict XVI (Joseph Ratzinger) is an eloquent writer, among my favorites of all time. He possess such clarity and brevity to take a complex concept and arrive at a simple rationale like no other theologian I have read.
An example of this is in my favorite quote of his: “The highest truths cannot be forced into the type of empirical evidence that only applies to material reality.” I still have to re-read that quote three or four times before I understand the profundity and precision reflected in that single statement. I mean, years and years of philosophy and theology courses on my part. . . and he simply sums it up in a single sentence. I will miss this aspect of Ratzinger most of all as he contemplates a prayerful life in retirement.
In an op-ed piece on CNN.com today, writer Timothy Stanley wrote, “In Catholicism, there is no right or left but only orthodoxy and error.” I only wish I could have summed up Pope Benedict XVI and the Roman Catholic Church in this light. So many people today quite blindly criticize the Church for refusing to waver to modern culture because it holds on to the one thing that has kept it around for all these years: Tradition. They don’t seem to understand that if the Church ignored Tradition, it would lose its own identity. Benedict XVI held onto to this principle strongly; it is extremely vital that all Catholics hold on to this principle. And if anyone expects the next pope to change, they will once again be disappointed by their own misunderstanding.
Two and a half years ago, I was blessed with a second chance. At the time I divorced, my faith sustained me, although I can’t say I didn’t have my doubts. I knew my vocation was for family life, but I was suddenly without a family. But six months or so after my divorce was finalized, I “met” a man who has changed my life. Read the rest of this entry »